My wife is a type-A personality with ADD. Or at least that's what it feels like every time I try to talk to her about something on my mind. I'm a type------whatever an introvert is who pauses to think a moment before voicing each sentence. It makes for an annoying combination when I try to be serious about something weighing on my mind.
I've started this blog as an effort to put my thoughts to paper (or screen, whatever) so that I can think at my pace and she can read at hers. If anyone else feels like reading (Coach Kathy?) awesome.
I've been 'into' bicycles for years and always have had it in my mind that I want to race. I've never been good at defining goals or sticking to them when it comes to much of anything in life. This manifests itself in many things, however shopping is a good way to share an example. I decide I want something. I study it intensely for a few weeks until I have convinced myself that I have made the right decision. I buy what I want. I am happy. Notice there is nothing in there about saving money up or long term planning. The same thing happens to me with training.
We started working with a coach this season to help us balance training for 3 racers in the house with all the normal life stuff. I think it's working alright so far for Hill and Ali, but I worry that it's not working so well for me. I have a really hard time pushing myself out the door when it's below 50F and the race season is still weeks away. I know that I'm going to suffer once the race starts. It doesn't help, though.
My weight has plateued around 220lbs. which sucks. I want to be closer to 175. The problem in my mind is that I have reached this equilibrium between eating, riding, sleeping, etc. and my weight. If I want to start losing serious weight I need to make some serious lifestyle changes to reset that equilibrium. Is it wrong that I'm jealous of people who can ride so much that they can eat just about anything? I keep falling into the see-food diet when I'm not on a strict plan and despite eating what feels like only a few calories I don't lose weight. WTF?
I'm also a bit jealous of people who can commit themselves to ride a couple hours every day. I am the master of excuses and procrastination. This goes back to that long term goal thing. My friend Heidi is training to qualify for 2010 RAAM. She's already putting in days of over 100 miles which blows my mind. That's awesome that she has that commitment. I am totally jealous of her. On the other hand, she lives alone with her cats. I enjoy being married and having two kids (most of the time, she's slamming dishes around at the moment and Big E is sick).
So a few weeks ago I set out my race goals for the year. I had originally thought that I would want to do some endurance races this year. My thought was along the lines of if I can't get faster maybe I can just ride longer. Schedule conflicts and just plain chickening out changed those goals to more traditional XC type racing. I've had a sport class license since high school and pride keeps me from downgrading it to beginner even though that's closer to my normal speed. I'm now having doubts that I can come close to keeping up with the sport field which pisses me off. I've been riding off and on for 15 F'ing years, I should be faster.
I put the national championship race on my calendar. Ha! That requires qualifying, which isn't very likely at my current weight and thus speed.
I think a more realistic goal is to focus on getting faster, more efficient, and losing weight for 2009. I want to be FAST in 2010.
So, this blog is my attempt at keeping myself on track for 2010.
I may try to convince Hill that I need a power-meter so I can see how much I suck too.
